He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
