Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
