shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
