I'm really into asian looking animals
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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