Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
