Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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