I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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