Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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