is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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