sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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