I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
