Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
