i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
