dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
