Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
