she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
