all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize