Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
