Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
