it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
