Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
