Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I love you.
Bad choice
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
