My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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