it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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