so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Did I show you my penis last night?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
