She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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