Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
please come you make the beer taste better
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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