Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She's the barista slut.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
