I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
