wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
