I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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