i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
