If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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