when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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