my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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