I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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