I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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