I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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