And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
