I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've blown a few things in my day
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
