Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
