After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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