Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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