It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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