both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
How external is "for external use only"?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize