Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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