She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
