We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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