I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
