There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's shark week go big or go home
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize