If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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