If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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