i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Dicks are not precious.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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