you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
