i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
