So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize