yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
A+ Viking dick
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