god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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