the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Someone signed my nipple.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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