so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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