What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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