He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
