so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
